Jessica « Polarbear, spoken word artist

Jessica

15 and I’m sparking a joint
in the park with the boys
chatting fart making noise
the girls are on a bench way over there in the distance
to put space between our best means of resistance
it’s getting dark and we all wanna kiss them
but we don’t have a clue what to do so we just kiss them
too embarrassed to talk it over
then John’s like, ‘hold on, somebody’s walking over’
oh no yo it’s two of the girls
other half of the species confusing our world
if they choose you it proves you’re mature to the world
fingers crossed in my pocket, foot’s moving the dirt
never sure whether they’re gonna smile or bite you
they walk right over like they’re ready to fight you
they both look at me and say Jessica likes you
my mind goes numb
my mouth’s like, ‘alright cool’
man let me tell you bout Jessica Brown
every single maths lesson I’ve been checking her out
there’s something in her eyes makes my chest wanna shout
and that freckle by the neck of her blouse I’m like, wow
turns out she’d been checking me too
and though I never asked her out she’d been expecting me to
so just for good measure extra pressure to boot
now my penalty’s up but am I ready to shoot?
at this point I know I’m supposed to follow em
and if anyone’s got kissing techniques, I wanna borrow em
I can’t swallow and the possible horror of tomorrow if I get it wrong’s
got me hollow I can’t breathe
man it’ll be worse if I run so I can’t leave
and I’ve got no control over the bones in my knees
my friends are egging me on
telling me I can’t leg it
man if you run now then you’ll regret it believe

next thing I know we’re in the middle of the park
her friends, my friends watch from afar
neither one of us is even sure where to start
the stars are coming out the whole park’s getting dark
she looks at me, my mind goes numb
and I try to fight the urge to just pull her hair and run
next thing I know her tongue’s touching my tongue
and I’m not sure if I’m doing it right but I’m like nice one
for some reason I’m closing my eyes
the whole park melts and we’re frozen in time
her hands on my shoulder I’m holding her side
then my hand goes down slowly strokes her behind
I don’t know why, what a joker am I?
Oh no in my mind, something’s poking her thigh
It’s not how it’s supposed to unfold I won’t lie
but she’s holding me tight just to show me its fine
this girl’s wicked and I wish we could kiss forever
I hear my name and I try not to listen
open my eyes I’m in the foetal position
on my bed, aged ten, not even dreaming of kissing
even getting into my clothes feels like a mission
but I smell fried dumpling from down in the kitchen
no television in my room like I’m wishing but there’s football to play
to the park’s my decision
Mom shouts up, ‘I hope you’ve got your vest on!’
and even though I know that I don’t I’m like, ‘Yes Mom!’
I know now its better never to test mom
forget TV detectives; believe she’s the best one
‘can’t stop Mom, kick off’s at 2’
‘Boy come back after 7 you’ll catch a lick off my shoe’
I smile as I leave Raleigh Burn up the street
two dumplin I’m eating too quickly to chew

“Welcome back to this 40-a-side, week-long grudge match,
the score is 34 all, Steve gets the ball, out on the right
cuts back inside, square ball to John
John goes to turn, the crowd shouts MAN ON!
pass back to Steve, who lets loose a shot you won’t believe
top right hand corner out of goalkeeper’s reach
the team goes mad PILE ON! behind the goal”
- man what’s the time? Twenty to nine?
I’m like oh
poo

racking my brain for an excuse
even though it’s no use I still choose to make one
Mom’ll take none, but I gotta say something
close the front door, can still smell the dumpling
can’t see mom, so I dump my stuff
just enough time to make tea and butter her up
‘what time do you call this?’
I don’t reply, just act surprised and close my eyes to get licked
but the licks don’t come
I stand struck dumb, count down from 5-1 then I
slowly open my eyes to my surprise I stand dressed smart I’m now 21
‘well done son’, mom gives me a hug
‘young man grown up, graduated and done’
she wears her best close and I don’t suppose
she know her son owes the man 10 grand for fun
but right now it don’t matter
as she’s sat chatting with Jess’s mom and dad over a cold platter
they’re all laughing how we’re still together
as we sit to the side with their wine, they get leathered
she looks amazing, better than I ever remember
in those lessons when she drove me crazy
she looks at me a little nod for maybe it’s time
that we should tell em that we’re having a baby

open my eyes I’m 29
my 8-year-old son wants to learn how to rhyme
standing at the foot of our bed and off the top of his head
he spits a flow showing perfect time
you know that deserves a smile, ok lets get dressed
brush your teeth and we’ll work on style
get your clothes on and don’t forget your vest lad
and even though I know that he won’t he’s like, ‘Yes Dad!’
a cup of tea in my mug that says Best Dad
more rhymes in the house? That’ll be driving Jess mad
she just smiles as she sips her tea and as I tickle her feet
he comes back with his best pad
ok, first thing, you must observe the time
a good flow is like a fossil it preserves the time
and the only thing of worth that you can learn from mine
is that the spaces between words deserves to shine
you gotta find your own style son
and if the flow feels right to you the rhyme’s done
sometimes looking back in time is good
cos some things don’t change as you find what you love
speak what you know, breathe deep as you flow
some people are gonna bite you to keep the light down
and they can say what they like, but when you’re gripping a mic
just make sure that you write for right now.

Copyright 2009 Polarbear

• Posted at 11:33 AM